


He Must be Dead

by iamyourownforever (Keepcalmanddontgetangry)



Series: Stormpilot [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Finn-centric, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-07 01:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6778564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keepcalmanddontgetangry/pseuds/iamyourownforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn mourns the loss of his new found friend, Poe, and his comrade Slip while wandering the desert on Jakku.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Must be Dead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beckali](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckali/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Lost the only friend I ever had…](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/195484) by gamy-maddy. 



The smell of the burning Tie Fighter was nothing like that of the nameless village mere hours before. The smell of Tie Fighter, which clung onto the inside of Finn's nostrils, was metallic and sterile. The village had been different;not only because it had been dark and his senses had been further obscured by his helmet. By the time they had left that place the air was filled with the suffocating smells of burning clay, wood, and something similar to the tough meat that they were sometimes served on Starkiller Base. 

Finn shook his head. He didn't want to think about that village he would never learn the name of. The sound of screams. The blood smeared across his field of vision. Nor did he want to think about the scattered remains of the Tie Fighter that he had long left behind him. Neither no longer existed. Not Slip. Not who must have been trapped inside that doomed spacecraft.

All Finn had done was stood back and watch, unable to help. Slip had died under his watch. So had Poe Dameron in a burning vessel, sinking into the sand while Finn stood back and watched. 

Poe Dameron sure had been one hell of a pilot. 

Finn stopped, stripping the armour from his legs. Sweat swept across his back like blood flowing from an open wound. The rest of his uniform lay somewhere in the tracks that he had left in the barren sand. It hadn't been designed to withstand this kind of heat. Sometimes, before, Finn had found himself wondering what kind of temperature his armour had actually been designed for. But that didn't matter now. He didn’t plan on ever wearing it again. 

He held Poe's jacket over his head and continued his journey into the emptiness that was Jakku; holding onto  Hope that he would eventually find some kind of habitation. Other than the jacket, hope was all that he had left. No, that wasn't true. He had a name: Finn. 

Poe had given him that name. Poe, during the frantic chaos of escaping the Finalizer, had taken time to give Finn his name. And in return Finn had failed him by not being able to keep him safe. 

No, that wasn't true either. If they hadn't needed to come back to Jakku! If Poe hadn't been set on some suicide mission to retrieve a droid that held a map to Luke Skywalker.  _ Luke Skywalker _ , like he even existed. Sure there had been rumours, late night stories that had passed from bunk to bunk back on base. But never anything more than that. Luke Skywalker was nothing more than a myth.

But Poe had believed in Luke Skywalker. Enough to come back to this planet and pick up his droid which, supposedly, held a map that led right to him. Enough to stay loyal to his mission, which was more than Finn could say. The image of the burning village flashed before Finn's eyes. Slip’s bloody hand reaching to him for help. The smell of burning. 

No, that was why he ran away. He would never follow out any of the missions that the First Order gave him. Never again. They were not worthy to be loyal to. 

But Poe had been loyal to the Resistance. Had put his trust in Finn to help him. Had agreed to help Finn escape too, and look at where that got him. At the bottom of some forsaken sinkhole. Dead.

"Stop!" 

Finn came to a halt at the sound of his own order. His own voice shocking him more than it ever had. The amount of emotion it held had been uncalled for. Would be a reason for punishment. He shook his head. 

"I did everything that I could to try and save him." 

He had to keep reminding himself that. Whatever feelings he may have had for Poe--could have had for him--he had to try and forget. He had tried to save him and failed. There was no point in wishing for something that he could not have. Doing so would be redundant and no help to his current situation. All that mattered now was survival. 

Finn clenched his fists. No, he was allowed to feel. He was allowed to express his emotions. There was no one here to stop him. He would not be punished, not this time. He was allowed to mourn. He was allowed to feel the loss of Poe Dameron.

Poe Dameron. They had hardly spoken, had hardly known each other. Yet here Finn was, wishing that he were not here alone. Wishing that Poe were beside him. 

Poe Dameron, the man who could fly anything. The man who risked his life for his mission. The man who had trusted in Finn without a second thought. 

_ He called me Finn. _

Poe, with his soft brown eyes. Poe who had caught onto Finn's intentions way before he had revealed them to him. Poe who had laughed with so much heart, even while flying, and told him it was good to meet him too. 

Finn inhaled sharply. His chest heaved and his vision blurred. There was nothing to see in front of him anyway. Nothing but miles and miles of sand. Tears stained his dusted cheeks. He had been holding them in for far too long, despite knowing it was now okay to feel. 

It was impossible to tell for how long he let himself cry. It didn't matter. Finn wanted to cry. He wanted to cry for Slip. He wanted to cry for Poe.


End file.
